A wiener dog gets lost on safari and finds himself alone in the jungle. He sees a leopard creeping up on him and thinks, "I'm dead," but then he gets an idea. He goes over to a pile of bones on the ground and starts to gnaw on them. Just as the leopard is about to leap, he says in a loud voice, "Mmm, that leopard was delicious! But I'm still hungry. I hope another one comes a long soon!" The leopard hears this and runs away in terror. However, a monkey has witnessed this entire chain of events, and races off after the leopard. In return for a promise to no longer hunt him, he tells the leopard the whole story. The leopard is furious. "I'll teach that wiener dog to mess with me! Hop on my back and I'll give you a ride back." So the wiener dog sees the leopard off in the distance with the monkey riding on its back. "Now I'm really dead," he says, but then he has another brainstorm. He again pretends not to see the approaching leopard, but just before it leaps on him, he says, "I wonder what happened to that monkey. I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
A father buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test the robot out on his son during supper. So he asks: "Johnny, where were you last night?" Johnny replied: "I was at the library." The robot immediately slaps Johnny. "Ok! I'll admit it! I was at a friend's house." "Doing what?" asks the father. "Watching the movie "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son a second time. "Ok! Ok! We were watching porn!" cries the son. The father yells, "What? When I was your age, I didn't know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father. The mother laughs and says: "He certainly is your son!" The robot then slaps the mother!
