Broken Down Car Songs..

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Huevos, Dec 13, 2018.

  1. Huevos

    Huevos In Maximum Overdrive

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    Post your best busted car song here..
    Extra points if its true..

     
  2. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    This song is mostly swear words. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!!!!!

    DO NOT OPEN IF SWEARING OFFENDS YOU.

    I've had a few cars like this.
     
  3. RANCHEROROB

    RANCHEROROB In Maximum Overdrive GOLD MEMBER

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    Location:
    Pueblo de Los Angeles, Aztlan
    "Uneasy Rider"

    I was takin a trip out to L.A.
    Toolin along in my cheverolet
    Tokin on a number and diggin on the radio

    Just as I crossed the Mississippi line
    I heard that highway start to whine
    And I knew that left rear tire was about to blow

    Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
    Cause there wasn't a filling station in sight
    So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim

    I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
    It was right in front of this little bar
    Kind of a red-neck lookin joint called the Dew Drop Inn

    I stuffed my hair up under my hat
    And told the bartender that I had a flat
    And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one

    There was one thing I was sure proud to see
    There wasn't a soul in the place except for him and me
    He just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone

    I called up the station down the road a ways
    He said he wasn't very busy today
    And he could have someone out there in just about 10 minutes or so

    He said, "Now, you just stay right where yer at!"
    And I didn't bother to tell the darn fool
    That I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go

    I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
    When some guy walked in and said, "Who owns this car
    With the peace sign, the mag wheels and the four on the floor?"

    He looked at me and I damn near died
    And I decided that I'd just wait outside
    So I laid a dollar on the bar and headed for the door

    Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
    These 5 big dudes come strollin in
    With one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth

    I was almost to the door when the biggest one
    Said, "You tip your hat to this lady, son!"
    And when I did, all that hair fell out from underneath

    Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
    In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
    Especially when there was three of them and only one of me

    They all started laughin and I felt kinda sick
    And I knew I better think of something pretty quick
    So I just reached out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee

    Now he let out a yell that'd curl yer hair
    But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
    And said "Now watch him Folks cause he's a thoroughly dangerous man!"

    "You may not know it but this man is a spy.
    He's a undercover agent for the FBI
    And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan!"

    He was still bent over holdin on to his knee
    But everybody else was looking and listening to me
    And I laid it on thicker and heavier as I went

    I said, "Would you believe this man has gone as far
    As tearing Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars.
    And he voted for George McGovern for President."

    "Well, he's a friend of them long haired, hippy-type, pinko fags!
    I betchya he's even got a commie flag
    tacked up on the wall inside of his garage."

    "He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys.
    He may look dumb but that's just a disguise,
    He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage"

    They all started lookin real suspicious at him
    And he jumped up and said "Now just wait a minute Jim!
    You know he's lying I been living here all of my life!"

    "I'm a faithful follower of Brother John Birch
    And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church.
    And I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"

    Then he started saying somethin bout the way I was dressed
    But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
    I was too busy moving and hoping I didn't run outta luck

    When I hit the ground I was making tracks
    And they were just taking my car down off the jacks
    So I threw the man a twenty and jumped in and fired that mother up

    Mario Andretti wouldda sure been proud
    Of the way I was movin when I passed that crowd
    Coming out the door and headed toward me at a trot

    And I guess I should of gone ahead and run
    But somehow I just couldn't resist the fun
    Of chasing them all just once around the parking lot

    Well they headed for their car, but i hit the gas
    And spun around and headed them off at the pass
    I was slinging gravel and putting a ton of dust in the air

    I had them all out there steppin and fetchin
    Like their heads was on fire and their asses was catchin
    then I figgered I had better go ahead and split before the cops got there

    When I hit the road I was really wheelin
    Had gravel flyin and rubber squeelin
    And I didn't slow down till I was almost to Arkansas

    I think I'm gonna reroute my trip
    I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
    If I went to L.A., via Omaha
     
    andrewok1, Huevos and Freestyle Don like this.
  4. Huevos

    Huevos In Maximum Overdrive

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  5. andrewok1

    andrewok1 In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER GOLD MEMBER

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  6. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    Is this sung to Happy Birthday? Mary had a Little Lamb? It's just words.
     
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  7. ForistellFord

    ForistellFord In Maximum Overdrive GOLD MEMBER

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    Stop it. Everyone knows that classic.
     
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  8. ForistellFord

    ForistellFord In Maximum Overdrive GOLD MEMBER

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    Is this specific, or can it be just a joke thread?

    A priest looses his rooster one sunday morning , as it is sunday he heads to mass as usual .
    At the end of his sermon he asks the congregation , Has anyone seen a cock ?
    All the men stand up .
    A bit flustered he asks, has anyone seen a cock that isn't theirs ?
    All the women stand up
    More flustered he asks has anyone seen a strange cock ?
    Half the women stand up
    Completely flustered he say oh for heavens sake , has anyone seen my cock
    The entire boys choir stands up .
     
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  9. Huevos

    Huevos In Maximum Overdrive

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  10. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    True story.
     
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  11. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    See, this is much better than a bunch of lyrics. Who's got time to read?
     
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  12. Huevos

    Huevos In Maximum Overdrive

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    Test Dummy, Charley Daniels other version of the song..

     
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  13. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    Once is good. Thanks.
     
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  14. ForistellFord

    ForistellFord In Maximum Overdrive GOLD MEMBER

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    Never enough.

     
  15. Huevos

    Huevos In Maximum Overdrive

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    Test Dummy will love that one..
     
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  16. handy_andy_cv64

    handy_andy_cv64 In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    A long-time favorite of mine; with the way he put it together, you'd think it was already broken-down.

     
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