I've preferred the tricks, myself. Not to toot my own horn, but I am considered an elite prankster. I don't strike often, but I strike awesome. Anyone pull any good pranks on friends and co-workers? One of my Top 3: A few years ago, a co-worker bought a brand new Rubicon that ended up being a lemon (FCA bought it back, eventually). In about a year of ownership, and less than 12,000 miles he had the following problems. The top leaked, even after three repairs. The water pump locked up after being clogged with casting sand, and the engine overheated. The rear driver seat bolts worked loose, which he found out about when he stopped quick and it tipped him into the steering wheel. And, in the middle of this, the front pinion started making a loud rumbling noise. It was in the shop for a week for that (the shop told him initially that they were going to replace the pinion bearing, but I talked them into a new pinion and ring, because they were probably damaged by all the shavings). The morning after he got it back, at the peak of his Jeep frustration, we were having a waffle-fest, where a bunch of us lab rats brought in waffle irons to make waffles for breakfast. After we were done I picked up a full jug of Food Lion syrup, and thought, ‘This looks just like gear lube’,…. so I went to the parking lot and emptied it under the front of Matt’s Jeep, directly under the dif cover. It looked awesome. So awesome that when Matt was going to lunch, he had a meltdown. He was screaming mad. Stomping around pissed. And then he noticed the ants gathering around the gear lube. He was then pissed at me, but later realized how great a prank that was.
One time I hid behind a door, and as a co-worker came in I hit him full in the face with a shovel. He was totally not expecting that! Great times.
That's a classic. Did you pull the old 'finger up the butt then stick it under your cellmates nose' trick later that day?
In the early 90's I was dating this chick who was a bartender at Ted's, across Featherstone from the Pontiac Silverdome. Most of the Lions coaches and staff would come in after practice, and because I sat there most every night, drinking discount beer, I got to know them. Wayne Fontes started out being cool, then got really full of himself over time. I got to be pretty good pals with the equipment manager, but have since forgotten his name. He had some great stories, but the one that really stuck out was how Chris Spielman would come out of the shower, wipe his finger down his butt crack, then rub it under someones nose asking if he smelled clean. Something only a linebacker can get away with doing.
It's so cool that you can tell stories of pro athlete locker room antics by proxy as if you were there just to try to sound cool and popular.
I wasn't there. Nor did I imply I was there. Nor would I want to be surrounded by naked guys. Nor would I want a stank finger rubbed under my nose. Or, in another members manner of replying: It's okay that you enjoy hanging out in locker rooms, but who finds the gerbil?