Discussion in 'Lounge' started by colnago, Oct 11, 2019.
Is this over the top?
Waaaaaaayyyyyy over the top. And besides, who wants ones that have been up there...or there
Speaking of lobster;
There was a female lobster that wanted a boob job and went on a crime spree to procure the money for her augmentation surgery.
After two weeks of knocking over convenience stores and quick marts she had the funds, and had the surgery.
The police dragnet was closing in however and she went on the lamb and took refuge in an old rundown bus terminal.
As police zeroed in on the lobsters location the call went out over the radio:
"The busty crustacean is at the crusty bus station,
repeat; the busty crustacean is at the crusty bus station."
*shudders, rolls eyes*
Biker John and his ol lady were celebrating 50 years together.
Their 3 kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday Dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," Gushed Little Johnny.
"Sorry I'm running late, had an emergency, you know how it is, didn't have time to get you both a present."
Not to worry," said Biker John.
"The important thing is that we're all here together today."
Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom still look great, Dad.
Just flew in from L.A. and didn't have time to get you a present... Sorry."
It's nothing," said Biker John.
"Glad you were able to be here."
Just then the daughter arrived.
"Hello both of you, Happy Anniversary!
I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and was really busy packing, so didn't have time to get you guys anything."
Again Biker John said, "I really don't care, at least the five of us are together today."
After they had all finished dessert, Biker John put down his knife and fork, looked up and said, "Listen up, all three of you, there's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time.
You see, we were very poor.
Despite this, we were able to raise each of you and send you to college.
All through the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married.'
The three kids gasp and said, "You mean we're Bastards."
Yep, said Biker John.
"And cheap ones too
My big brother Fred likely had to bounce from ball to ball, trying to keep from being a bastard.
Separate names with a comma.