Medical advice?

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Garbageman, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. Garbageman

    Garbageman In Overdrive

    Messages:
    567
    Location:
    SW Washington
    Subject: Questionable Medical Advice


    Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

    Do you suffer from shyness?

    Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

    Do you sometimes feel stressed?

    If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
    pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.

    Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more
    confident. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell
    the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

    You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately
    and, with a regimen of regular doses, you'll overcome obstacles that
    prevent you from living the life you want.

    Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past. You will discover
    talents you never knew you had.

    Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone.

    Side effects may include:

    Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control,
    loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
    headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and
    play all-night Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

    Warnings:

    The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are
    whispering when you are not.

    The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your
    friends over and over again that you love them.

    The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.

    The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you
    are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


    LIFE IS A CABERNET OLD CHUM
     
  2. beerbelly

    beerbelly In Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

    Messages:
    694
    Location:
    Portland OR
    Ditto beer.
     
  3. 1965 Ranchero 66G

    1965 Ranchero 66G In Maximum Overdrive PLATINUM MEMBER

    Messages:
    1,242
    Location:
    Texas

    I'll stick with Beer same side effects, less headaches.
     
    Basstrix likes this.
  4. andrewok1

    andrewok1 In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

    Messages:
    2,021
    Location:
    ocala ,florida
    Drunk & stupid is NO way to go thru life young man !!!!!
     
  5. beerbelly

    beerbelly In Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

    Messages:
    694
    Location:
    Portland OR
    Yes, but watching John Belushi DESTROY a sappy folksinger's guitar was worth it. And look how he turned out (in the movie)!
     
  6. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive

    Messages:
    20,190
    Location:
    C'Ville
    I think I've been falling down, mumbling, drunk once or twice in my life. Never blacked out, thankfully. And let me tell you, I drank, a lot. 20 beers in a night was nothing. Probably kill me now.
     
  7. 1965 Ranchero 66G

    1965 Ranchero 66G In Maximum Overdrive PLATINUM MEMBER

    Messages:
    1,242
    Location:
    Texas
    Once or twice. ?
     
  8. andrewok1

    andrewok1 In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

    Messages:
    2,021
    Location:
    ocala ,florida
    good point
     
  9. ribald1

    ribald1 In Maximum Overdrive PLATINUM MEMBER

    Messages:
    17,505
    Location:
    California
    He's Irish, and they describe moderation in a different manner than most. ;)
     
  10. Jeff B

    Jeff B In Overdrive BRONZE MEMBER

    Messages:
    837
    Location:
    SoCal
    Hold my Cab and watch this.........
     
  11. plumcolr

    plumcolr In Maximum Overdrive

    Messages:
    1,062
    Location:
    Freehold NJ
    Sez who?

    Here, hold my beer.
     
    1965 Ranchero 66G likes this.
  12. beerbelly

    beerbelly In Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

    Messages:
    694
    Location:
    Portland OR
  13. 1965 Ranchero 66G

    1965 Ranchero 66G In Maximum Overdrive PLATINUM MEMBER

    Messages:
    1,242
    Location:
    Texas
    Take a number.
     
  14. Hillbilly

    Hillbilly In Maximum Overdrive

    Messages:
    4,858
    Location:
    Winchester, TN.
    Mix Irish and German Ribald. Add summer heat at Talladega races in the past and you got exceptional alcohol consumption numbers. Start drinking mid-day Friday on the trip to the track then pound your favorite brew till time to go home late Sunday night. Average consumption per person was twenty three cases of brew or three gallons of liquor. Yeah, we had a big bus to carry it all. Equally big holding tanks under the bus for the latrine. We even carried quite a few cases of cheap PBR for when Michael Waltrip and Dale Jarrett would show up Saturday night to chase our girls. We were considerate. Odd thing about all that conspicuous consumption, due to the killer heat, you could still pass the balloon test if you got randomly stopped by the troopers while going outside the track to the showers. We had to carefully plot our travel to avoid Alabama troopers on the way to the track. Your alcohol could be confiscated if it didn't have the correct state tax stamps. We thought we were having fun and all of us survived so I guess it was ok.
     
    1965 Ranchero 66G likes this.
  15. handy_andy_cv64

    handy_andy_cv64 In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

    Messages:
    6,008
    Location:
    Everett, WA
    I never fell. Punched the back of a van three times in quick succession, mildly spraining my hand, but no falls, no blackouts, no fights (think of my happy drunkenness as a superball thrown in a small square room with a low ceiling). I still wonder, to this day, if the van owner found the dent that was 5 1/2 feet off the ground, with no scrapes, no creases and no bloody idea how it happened.
     
  16. ribald1

    ribald1 In Maximum Overdrive PLATINUM MEMBER

    Messages:
    17,505
    Location:
    California
    No shame in being a mutt.
    I suspect the 23 cases per person in a weekend is a typo. Working in the heat will burn off a lot of alcohol, but 180+ beers a day is something even we construction workers can't even get close to. More than 30 during the 10+ hour day and nothing gets done except getting and drinking. Then another 15 to get the brakes on afterward.
    Maybe we are lightweights, but planning 36 per person per day works out for us.
    You are right about the balloon. Back in the early 80's I was doing a project in Carson City, it was pushing 100 and ran out of beer. It was about 4Pm and I had already had about 20, but was picked for the run. Got nailed right off the jobsite, and he had the blow kit in his hand. Blew a .o2.
    When I was 16 I drank most of a fifth of Southern Comfort. Didn't work out well, so I avoid Southern Comfort.
     
  17. Hillbilly

    Hillbilly In Maximum Overdrive

    Messages:
    4,858
    Location:
    Winchester, TN.
    Infield.jpg Infield 3.jpg Southern Comfort is disguised concrete cleaner. Same with Wild Turkey. That S#&# will hurt you. I wish that was a typo, we spent more for alcohol than on the entire rest of the trips including tickets to get in and fuel for the bus. Some even insisted on Very Old Barton in their morning Cheerios. I guess truth really is stranger than fiction but in this case if you were there it would be easier to believe the insanity. Let's just say better living thru chemistry helped out although nobody in the group ever slept any the entire weekends. Looking back it really is a miracle there were no heart attacks or strokes in that bunch. Young an' dumb ring any bells ? I have no plans on ever running for any office so I can get by with reminiscing a bit but I could refer you to a retired local mayor who can elaborate on some of our group's stunts. One of the Alabama Gang's wife filmed us one year for a documentary on how insane life on the infield could get and we obliged her with some real winners. I'm sure the University of Alabama enjoyed her films. My staring role was getting blindsided while filming a nude female mud wrestling bout, destroyed a real nice Cannon camera when I got tackled from the rear. Oh well, at least the Anniston Fire Dept. enjoyed hosing everyone off afterward.
     
  18. As Is '66

    As Is '66 2 Wheeled Mod Staff Member

    Messages:
    5,533
    Location:
    Southwest Georgia
    In 26 years sober, I ain`t had no hungovers!

    Naked Twister?
    Party Southern style!!!
    No Alcohol required,
    D
     
    Huevos likes this.
  19. ribald1

    ribald1 In Maximum Overdrive PLATINUM MEMBER

    Messages:
    17,505
    Location:
    California
    Back in the late 70's I did sound for rock bands. The only thing I ever saw most of those guys eat was pills and they could drink whiskey like water.
    It is hot on a stage when all the lights so they baked on the outside as well as the inside. There was always a 'Doc' around who had something he could inject into a person that changed them from twitching on the floor with eyes rolled back to rocking in 15-20 minutes. Never asked what the stuff was, afraid the response would be a jab in the arm as I was told 'check it out'.
     
  20. As Is '66

    As Is '66 2 Wheeled Mod Staff Member

    Messages:
    5,533
    Location:
    Southwest Georgia
    Ahh the "Good Ol` Days" !!!
    AFTER it went down, I asked, "What is it?" or was ;)

    Glad we`re all still here to talk about it...
    A bunch of my old running buddies ain`t,
    D


    [​IMG]
     

Share This Page