Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by colnago, Oct 11, 2019.

  1. Clark

    Clark In Maximum Overdrive

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    Know why nurses always carry a red crayon?



    'Cause they often have to draw blood.
     
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  2. Clark

    Clark In Maximum Overdrive

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    Three Ranchero guys (I won’t name names here) die together in a tragic accident on their way home from the Fabulous Fords Forever Car show. Naturally, as Ford guys, all three go to Heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says “We only have one rule here in heaven - do not step on the ducks!”

    So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they try their best to avoid them, the first Ranchero guy accidentally steps on a Mallard. Well, along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman to ever be seen. St. Peter chains them together and says “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman (who immediately begins telling him about the attributes of her cherished Nova)!”

    The next day, the second Ranchero guy accidentally steps on a Black Scoter and in comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly woman complaining non-stop about her worthless Explorer. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.

    The third Ranchero guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly Cheby woman, is very careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. And then one day St.Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on - a quiet shapely blond with long eyelashes and legs up to forever. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

    The smirking Ranchero guy says “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?” The woman says “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”
     
  3. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    Third guy is Foristell Ford, right?
     
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  4. ForistellFord

    ForistellFord In Maximum Overdrive GOLD MEMBER

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    I'm good with that.
     
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  5. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    I wished it was me, actually. I wonder if that story had more than three Ranchero members in it?
     
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  6. ForistellFord

    ForistellFord In Maximum Overdrive GOLD MEMBER

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    I think it's the only story ever that's had three Ranchero owners in it. Well, I think there was one other...
     
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  7. burninbush

    burninbush In Maximum Overdrive

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    Better than most jokes that appear here.
     
  8. handy_andy_cv64

    handy_andy_cv64 In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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  9. 1965 Ranchero 66G

    1965 Ranchero 66G In Maximum Overdrive Unubtanium Member

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    A gentleman was sitting on a park bench on a beautiful day in spring enjoying the day when a young man sat down with rainbow hair and the gentleman could not take his eyes off of him. the kid having enough said what's the matter you've never seen hair like mine.... the gentleman said I used to be wild in my younger days and had sex with a parrot I was just wondering if you were my son.
     
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  10. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    Hahahahahah, because he had colored hair like feathers. I get it!!!!
     
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  11. RANCHEROROB

    RANCHEROROB In Maximum Overdrive GOLD MEMBER

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    But her name is Caitlin and "Shes" from California.........:eek:
     
  12. RancheroRandy

    RancheroRandy In Overdrive

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    I remember running with Jenner a few times back in the mid 70s...I knew there was something odd about him (yes him) back then...
     
  13. ForistellFord

    ForistellFord In Maximum Overdrive GOLD MEMBER

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    Not so good with that.
     
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  14. RANCHEROROB

    RANCHEROROB In Maximum Overdrive GOLD MEMBER

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    Ok, How about One of "her" Step Daughters ? Kim is available.
     
  15. TestDummy

    TestDummy In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    Why does Rob always go 'that way'? Must be a California thing.
     
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  16. plumcolr

    plumcolr In Maximum Overdrive SILVER MEMBER

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    .
    Liam O’Toole applied for a forklift job at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.


    A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.

    When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.
    The manager went to O’Toole and said: “Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the Norwegian the job.”

    And why would you be doing that? replied O’Toole, “We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job?”

    The manager responded, “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.”
    “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?”

    That’s simple. On question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down – ‘I don’t know.’

    You put down – ‘Neither do I.’

    .
     
  17. Garbageman

    Garbageman In Overdrive

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